5/28/2011

I think Zak has gotten over being upset that we left him - I think he is saying DON'T hurry home!

Here is his status from Debbie:

These pics are of the boys only. It always amazes me how Zak looks right in your eyes when you talk to him. He is so intelligent and seems to really want to understand what it is you’re communicating.

Easy night. Zak ate a lot at dinner – gave him a whole can of food and he seemed satisfied and happy the rest of the night. Sally picked at hers and I think Zak finished it for her when the kibble remained in her dish. He slept by the door in the guest house and we didn’t have any incidents during the night. Sally stayed at the bottom of the bed where she slept quietly until Jim and Zak got up early and snuck out, at which point she came up and stretched out on his side of the bed by me. When we got up, the boys were down in the theater watching a bio of Andre the Giant. Silly boys. Now they are watching the Dirty Dozen. Guess it will be one of those kinds of days. J

This morning Zak’s lymph nodes are bigger again. Horrifying how fast they come back. I gave him his pill playing the treat game with the two of them. Sally only gets ¼ inch pieces and Zak gets 1-1/2 pieces, but I think she feels like she’s getting her share. I thought Zak hesitated over his pill piece, but I watched him.

I prepared a half can of dog food, mixed with a little kibble and the chicken cubes in the refrigerator for him. I put it down, he looked at it and walked away. Jim played the growling game with him and Zak quickly joined in with the growling and then ate half of it. He is now taking a nap on the step. I’ll clean out his bowl later if he doesn’t eat it and try the tuna for lunch if he wants it.

5/28/2011 - Zak status

Craig and I just passed the dogs over to their “other parents”, the Foxworthy’s.  It is a little stressful leaving Zak due to his condition, but Debbie and Jim love the dogs as much as we do.  They will play with them and love them at least as much as we would.  I just hope he does not get really bad during our absence. 

Zak was very playful with Sally last night.  He would lie down and let her trample and bit him.  After having enough would stand up and wrap his entire jaw around her neck, but of course not bit or hurt her.  They he would egg her on to wrestle with him some more.  They were fun to watch. 

This morning, Zak got into the shower!  He has not done this for some time, but it used to be anytime he heard the shower come on he would practically mow you down to get in.  Debbie reported that he has diarrhea today and is hungry all the time.  Before I left this morning I checked his lymph nodes and they were swollen around his neck.  They felt like marbles.  Zak was not happy that we were leaving and refused to give kisses.  I’m sure all was forgiven when Debbie showed up about an hour later. 

Debbie had a horseback riding accident several months ago and Zak really looked out after her.  Following is a note from Debbie – we were ALL amazed at the compassion Zak showed.  Debbie’s story follows:

Nurse Zak. I had an accident – fell and hit my cheek on a pipe fence and broke the bone. Not a devastating accident by any means, but any trauma to the face can make it look like you just hit the wall at Indy. The shock and the meds made me feel nauseated, so when we finally left the emergency room I really didn’t think I could handle the ride all the way home. After some encouragement from Karen, we went to their house so I could recuperate for a bit.

Because of the way Zak normally greets everyone, Craig put Zak on a leash so that he could control him while I settled onto the couch. Zak kept looking at me, curious about me, but he stayed near Craig. After a half hour or so, I asked Craig to let Zak come over to see me. He carefully brought Zak to me, prepared to grab him if he got exuberant. Zak sniffed me, looked straight up into my face, and then very, very gently climbed up on the couch next to me and settled in, curling up with his head on my lap. He’d look up at my face every now and then and just snuggle a bit closer. He was clearly worried about me and was taking care of me the only way he knew how. Who would have ever expected that level of compassion and caring from an animal? I felt so loved and so cared for. It was an experience I’ll never forget.

Zak's lymph nodes are still swollen around his neck and tummy, but not as large as a couple days ago.  He is still eating well and has a reasonable energy level.  Zak helped take the trash out this morning, but didn't seem as excited as normal.  We just watched a movie together (Zak loves watching movies) and he was rolling around on the floor being very vocal.  His eyes look bright and he is smiling today.  If there is a God up there listening, thank you for giving us another day with Zak.  

You MUST go back and look at the older entries!  Craig/Hubby found some great pictures of Zak as a puppy and they are so adorable.  He attached them to the appropriate entries.

This morning I checked Zak’s lymph nodes and they were fairly large around his neck.  This morning was the first day of cutting his prednisone by half and I’m concerned that this is premature.  He seems relatively O.K. for a normal dog, but Zak is not a normal dog.  He no longer cares about getting into the shower - I think he gets too hot.  He seems hungry most of the time and pants more than normal.  He typically whines when he wants ANYTHING, but not so much now.  This afternoon his lymph nodes seemed reduced and I started him on a special dog food from the doctor developed to help sustain dogs with cancer (higher in protein and fat).  I was warned that some dogs do not like it but Zak gobbled it right up. 

Zak has really never been a “chow hound”.  Eating is more of a utilitarian function for him – he would much prefer the attention of humans.  This turned into the “growling game” which Zak loves to play.  First of all, you must understand that Zak has never and would never bite anyone or any animal (rodents and lizards excluded).  I would put his food into his dish and he would just stand there and look at me until I pretended to get his food.  As I approached, Zak would start growling which would escalate the closer I got.  By the time my face got to his bowl, he sounded like a grizzly bear that was about ready to rip my face off.  His muse was revealed by the fact his tail was wildly waging.  I would then kiss him on the nose; he would whine, give me a kiss and then eat his food.  He is now so hungry he has no time for the growling game.

Today Zak and Sally went to the groomers, which is the same place as his vet.  We asked his doctor to take a look at Zak while he was there.  They both came back beautiful, but Zak came back also in LUV.  Zak is a very tidy dog and he is not so fond of Sally if she is “dirty”, but after a good grooming that’s a totally different story.  He is simply smitten and just wants to play with her.  Sally on the other hand will only take this in small doses since she is more sedentary  in nature.  It was very nice to see Zak so energetic today.  He is eating well and drinks a lot of water which means lots of trips outside.  Life is good today and we both took time to go outside and “smell the roses” together.

ZAK - 5/23/2011

5/22/2011 Status

Today Zak was not so energetic, but he did help me garden and took a dip in the pool.  He is still eating very well.  I had to start over on the prednisone due to my under dosing and his lymph nodes swelling again, so maybe the meds are making him lethargic.  This evening after returning from the theater Zak seems fine.  He greeted us at the door and was annoyed at Sally for interrupting and barked at her.  There we no night issues other than he moves around from his bed to the cool floor then back into his bed.  I have a hard time sleeping because I listen for any issues.

5/21/2011 status

Zak seemed pretty normal all day today, but got sick during the night.  When I heard him, I got up to check and he had vomited and was “cleaning it up”.  I finished the job and he licked his tummy.  I let him outside and he took care of business and came right back in. 

I went to a graduation party for a friend and Dr. Laura Harris was there.  She has been so helpful answering my questions regarding Zak and will make sure his end will be at my house and pleasant.  We discussed the prednisone and she said that it makes Zak feel good, but it’s like falling off a cliff when he fails.  I will have no doubt when it’s time to let him go.  Her advice was to love and cherish him the remaining time we have left.

A note from Zak’s friend Debbie:

Strangers? There’s no such thing for Zak! He dispenses kisses to anyone who will accept them and even to a few folks who really didn’t want them! The first time I met Zak, Karen and Craig were hosting a get-together for their employees and spouses at their home. I was a bit nervous when Jim rang the bell. I didn’t know very many of the people there, and to be honest, it was a little intimidating going to the “bosses’ house” for the first time. Craig opened the door to welcome us and we stepped in. All of a sudden, from the other side of the house, a black dog ran toward us, leaped up, and then exuberantly and joyfully gave me a kiss right in the mouth! That wasn’t exactly the welcome I had expected, but it certainly helped me to get rid of the nervous jitters I had!

The joy with which Zak greets us each and every time we see him is awesome. He acts as if he hasn’t seen you in forever, and you are the most special person in the world and there is no one he would rather see.

5/20/2011

Debbie and Jim are like second parents to our dogs and stay with them when we are out of town.  They came over last night (yesterday) along with some another friends for dinner.  Zak and Sally were so excited and really enjoyed having them visit.  It gave me the idea that I should have a party for Zak so folks that know him can see him while he can still appear happy and healthy.  I’m thinking a day after Memorial Day weekend and will figure out a date soon.  Zak seemed pretty normal yesterday.  His lymph nodes are getting larger, but his energy level seems better.

Today, Zak was barking and playing with Sally like the healthy dog we are used to having.  I discovered this morning that I was “under dosing” him on prednisone for 3 days - ugh!!!  I called his doctor and she gave me instructions on how to proceed.  This probably explains why his lymph nodes were enlarging again.  Zak is eating well and enjoying the special treatment.  I’m concentrating on giving him fish at least once a day and eliminating carbohydrates from his diet.   

I put my jacket on Zak this evening and he was so cute walking around the house with it on and smiling.  I took a couple of pictures which I need to figure out how to attach to my blog.  I continue to take pictures daily. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Today was much like yesterday, Zak is doing well.  He is eating and playing some with Sally.  I brushed him tonight and his tummy is only slightly pink, but I can feel that his lymph nodes are swollen more than this morning.  It is clear that his medication is simply camouflaging the cancer which continues to attack his body.  At least he is comfortable, for the near term. Tomorrow we are having friends over, so it will be interesting to see if he greets them with his normal enthusiasm.   I had dinner with friends and one of them, Chris, shared a nice story about his dog that was comforting.  Chris was very close to his dog Scooby and it was hard to let him go when it was time (Scooby was 14 and had kidney failure).  Chris took comfort knowing that he had rescued and given Scooby a really good life.  We can do the same.

I would definitely say Zak has a good life.  Zak’s normal day consists of eating, sleeping on whatever sofa or bed he chooses, playing with Sally, free access (doggie door) to a large fenced back yard, and a pool which he enjoys freely when he gets overheated.  When Zak hears the shower come on, he bolts into the bathroom to join Craig.  While Craig showers, Zak lays on the shower bench to enjoy the steam and overspray.   

Both dogs love to help me with outdoor chores.  If caught taking out the trash without Zak, he cries and whines like you are cutting his tail off with a dull knife.  He is a very vocal and extraverted individual.   

After dinner, he stands on the edge of the kitchen and clearly communicates that he wants to go downstairs to the theater.  Finally, we ask, “Do you want to go see a movie?”  He springs into an exuberant dance towards the stairs and leads the way to the theater.    

5/17/2011 status

Zak is happy and energetic. His lymph nodes are noticeable again due to the decrease in the dosage of prednisone. He has been playinging with Sally, some barking, and lots of smiling.

He does seem to have in increase of appetite and urination which is a common side effect of prednisone. It's so nice to see him happy. Thanks everyone for your expressions of love and concern.

Monday, 5/16/2011

Zak seemed pretty "normal" today.  He ate well, barked at a few rabbits outside, and played with Sally.  They even ran through the house chasing each other which I have not seen for some time.  It was so great seeing him with his energy level more like the Zak we know.  His lymph nodes are hardly detectable.

When Zak was a puppy, Olivia would dress him up in her doll's clothes.  It was hard not to feel bad for Zak, but he seemed to be perfectly O.K. with it.  She would put him in a doll bed on his back, cover him up (his tail would be hanging out the bottom) and he would just lay there for the longest time.  Even now, sometimes I will put an article of clothing or towel across his back and he will walk around with it until it eventually falls off on it's own.  I think he feels more like one of us when he is wearing clothes.  

5/15/2011

Zak got up with me this morning about 5:30, so I had to wait until 6 am to give him meds and food.  We sat outside to enjoy the tranquility for awhile.  He walked around some but did not play with Sally.  At 6:00 I gave him meds and fed both dogs.  He ate reasonably well, but he maybe getting a bit tired of tuna over kibble.  Later this morning I fed him chicken breast which he gobbled up right away and was looking for more.  He seems lethargic today.  His lymph nodes are greatly improved and his belly not as red.  Both dogs followed me around most of the day, as usual.  I think Sally is depressed.

Craig and I are helicopter pilots and owned a MD 500N helicopter which was our primary transportation between Scottsdale and Overgaard.  We decided to take Zak in the helicopter from Scottsdale to Overgaard but knew he would be frightened, so I decided that I would ride in the back and hold him in my lap.  Craig took off and all was well until Zak decided to look out the window.  He wet all over me!  I think that was his last ride.  He has never been a fan of riding in any motor powered device, so he mainly stays at home.  This is part of our decision not to subject him to complicated medications during his final days/weeks.

5/14/11

Yesterday afternoon I picked up Prednisone, an anti-inflammatory,  from the Vet for Zak to address the swollen  lymph nodes.  He had his first dosage around 4pm yesterday and another this morning.  Both Craig and I can notice a slight reduction in the size of his nodes this morning.  He is still eating well and energy level is good.  Both dogs sat outside with me this morning and watched the sun come up.  Zak walked around to check out the yard, but was mostly relaxing.  I brushed his tummy and which is still pretty red.  Sally laid down beside Zak, but did not push me away from him.  I took turns brushing them both.

Our cabin was in Overgaard, AZ which is where we adopted Zak but our primary residence is Scottsdale, AZ.  Our home and furnishings were pretty new, so we had been reluctant to bring a pet into our perfect environment.  We installed a doggie door in Olivia’s bedroom and Zak quickly figured out how to use it and was 100% solid in that regard.  He slept with Olivia, who was 13 years old and would often wake up to shrubbery, dirt, and other outside “presents” from Zak in bed with her.  

Our friend, Steve, stayed overnight in the guesthouse and was also “gifted.”  All the ties from the patio furniture cushions.  Zak had taken the time to chew them all off and place them in a nice little pile right by the door where Steve would find them.  

How can you punish this behavior? – besides, there were no more ties left so he couldn’t do it again!  

5/13/11

Zak was coughing this morning when he got up.  I’m really worried about his throat closing up due to the extreme swelling of his lymph glands.  We got confirmation yesterday afternoon that he does indeed have Lymphoma.  Craig called about getting him in for evaluation/treatment, but the recommended Dr. cannot see him until next Wednesday.  I sent an email to Dr. Laura Harris, a veterinarian and friend, to get some advice.  

His lymph glands are really large around his neck and above his front legs.  When he gets excited, he coughs and gags.  He did eat dinner last night and breakfast this morning.  He enjoyed being brushed this morning as I evaluated his very red tummy – it looked about the same as last night.   He felt “different” to touch this morning, not quite as warm, but maybe it is just in my head.  

Briefly he played with Sally and barked at “something” out back.  He helped take out the trash and got excited about going downstairs for a treat.  He seemed happy, but a bit less energy than normal. 

As a puppy, Zak was very connected to all that surrounded him.  We would play a game where he was on the deck of our cabin and I would run around it on the outside.  He would stick his head through the slats to try and get me from the inside.  He loved this game which was just the beginning of many such escapes.  

That evolved to chasing and herding me inside the house.  I would pretend that I was sneaking past him and he would pretend not to notice.  When his tail stopped wagging and his body would get very still and rigid, I knew he was ready to pounce.  I would take off running with him in hot pursuit.  What fun we both had!  

When I would clean the stainless steel appliances in the cabin, Zak would help by following along and licking the surfaces he could reach.   The upper parts would be bright and shinny and the lower part full of tongue prints.  He would insist on helping, so that was just the way the kitchen always looked.  

You just had to love him - he was such a beautiful  puppy both inside and outside.  

5/12/11

This morning Zak ate well (chicken livers & Kibble).  He went outside with us to have coffee and I brushed him which he really seemed to enjoy.   His stomach was not as red, so perhaps the disease  builds during the day and retreats during the nights rest.  He seemed mellow outside but actually played with Sally inside, running and barking at her.  

I’m taking lots of pictures of the dogs because I don’t want to lose the memories.  I decided that I should write about his life as well, so I’ll start with when we got Zak.

It was a charity pancake breakfast at the Overgaard private airport.  The local animal rescue was there with a liter of puppies.  Olivia, our daughter,  latched on to a cute little black puppy and would not put him down.  She had wanted a dog for some time, but we had objected.  She was coming up on her 13th birthday and said all she wanted for her birthday was this puppy. There was just something about this puppy that was different and I fell in love with him that day as well.  

Craig was dead set against getting a dog but reluctantly agreed (outnumbered 2 to 1), so we brought him home.  We didn’t really know what kind of dog he was other than extremely cute and mysteriously “magnetic”.   This was the first day of a bond & special friendship we were ALL so lucky to experience. 

5/11/11 Today it the first day of the rest of my life – ZAK

Thank goodness our friend Debbie noticed last evening that Zak's lymph nodes under his jaw were enlarged.  Even though we pet him every day, we may not have noticed for some time.  We knew he needed to see the doctor as soon as possible.

Zak went to the vet this morning to check out his swollen glands, rash and a cough.  Other than these symptoms, everything else was normal. The doctor said that she would send out his samples to be tested and it could be lymphoma.  Just what does that mean?  He is 9 years old and seems to be in great shape otherwise.  But no, his body is starting to fail.   

It appeared to both Craig and I, after our research on the internet, that Zak clearly has lymphoma and is in at least stage 3 with a life expectancy of 4-6 weeks if we do nothing.  We will not get the final results until the oncology test comes in, maybe Friday.  We are overtaken by our grief.  You always know that a dog has a limited lifespan, and 9 years is a reasonable age for a dog, but you are never prepared for this verdict. I keep telling myself that Zak has had a good life and we were very lucky to have him but we both agree that will need to let him go soon. 

We take him for a short walk and maybe detect a slight limp.  I brush him and observe that his glands are very swollen around his neck and above his front legs.  His stomach is very red – it looks like a bad rash.  I feed him tuna with his kibble that evening and he ate it as fast as I could dump it into his bowl.  Omega 3 is good for the immune system, so maybe he is craving it.  Sally leaves me alone when I love on Zak, which is out of character for her.  I think she knows that he is sick.

Thoughts on a very special friend.

Zak has a lot of friends, so anyone interested in knowing how he is doing can read and contribute to this diary.  Zak was an adopted “mutt”, so maybe this will inspire someone to consider adopting a homeless pet.

When we take a pet into our lives, we all need to accept the fact that it is a temporary relationship and someday we will have to part with them.  They become part of the family, so this is no easy task.  So love them, savor the time you have with them and let them go with dignity when it’s time – no regrets .   “I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” (Alfred Tennyson)

You can learn a lot from your four legged friends.  We spend so much time trying to teach them to understand us, but step back and look at what they have to teach.  Love, forgiveness, companionship, happiness, enthusiasm – all the good stuff.  These are the things we should all strive to do better at as humans.